| |
| AISLE TWO | - | LITURGY: a customary repertoire of ideas, phrases, or observances. | | | | THE ITEM | - | Mental Warfare |
I Need HELP!
There's a new and very deadly weapon being exploited by the fucking old women in my store. Mental Warfare. With the sick and utterly twisted imagination that compliments my genius, and given the proper stimuli, my mental health could be in serious jeopardy.
Maybe it's just my overactive imagination coupled with my usual fits of paranoia. Let me explain. Whenever the old hags come across what they feel is an unusually large piece of produce, their eyes light up and they run over to tell me how great it is. Bananas, yams, summer squash, bumpy gourds, they love 'em.
 What makes them so great, I wonder. Could there be more than one virtue to their large nature? No, not that! Not the unthinkable!! They couldn't be using them in that way, it's IMPOSSIBLE!!!
I'm telling you, my own mind has turned against me. Whenever some old witch has the urge to pick up one of those seedless cucumbers I need to hurl. Please, lady, please don't hold that with both of your hands, staring with that sinister half-grin of yours. Can this really be going on?!? Do they know it sickens me or is it nothing more than fault of accident? The mental pictures will have me forced into an asylum. A place where all I have are walls of white and my mind, free to dream of whatever supermarket I wish. And I will not think on the evils of those horrible customers...
| That was it, I need to vomit now. |  |
|
