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| AISLE ONE | - | PEDAGOGY: the art, science, or profession of teaching. | | | | THE ITEM | - | All Hail the Asparagus of Truth |
The New Symbol of Freedom
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Mahatma Gandhi, William Wallace, Martin Luther King, Jr., Random Zen. All freedom fighters for what at first must have seemed like unattainable goals. All of us mystified by the masses at their continuing inability to absorb anything. What keeps us going? What symbol of hope do we look to? It's been there for all of us since the beginning; the puissant, the unstoppable, the holy... ...The Asparagus! |
And nothing exploits the power and courage of the asparagus like that of the onset of homosexuality in our community.
What..? That's right, I said asparagus. I hate asparagus. I hate the way it looks, how it smells, and most of all, how it tastes. I'll never eat it, EVER. So, if it were up to me would I ban it from supermarkets? Never. And not because I need something to go in between the cauliflower and broccoli on my counters. Given the level of arrogance I've attained and aspire to have,
I can still never be so much of an asshole to limit someone else's options in life because I choose not to explore said option. Even if it disgusts me to just imagine doing so (uhhh, asparagus!). Who am I to determine that asparagus is no longer fit for consumption in this world because I vomit when I think too long on the subject.
Hell, if reality's blueprints were drawn to my every whim there would be topless
Hooter's girls serving me Yuengling Lager and McDonalds cheeseburgers all day at work
(sad to know that I still imagine myself at work). I will never
know it's virtues as I was made to appreciate other things in life. It's a mystery
to me why asparagus sells
so damn well but my open mind allows me to understand that there must be something to it.
So now I implore you all, when
feelings of prejudice arise in you, don't look to hostility, look to the asparagus!
In it you will find your answers and understanding.
"Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think."
-Niels Bohr
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