| |
| AISLE ONE | - | PEDAGOGY: the art, science, or profession of teaching. | | | | THE ITEM | - | Department X |
 |
Department:
(di pärt´ ment), n
1. an operational or functional
division. |
Hello. Do you see me? Yes, I am the clerk stacking tomatoes over in the produce aisle. You will see me here often. If you come back frequently you might notice that I rarely stray away from this aisle, always busy at work here. That’s right, this makes me a produce clerk. I work here only. You really shouldn't be bothering me, I won't bother you.
What, still here for something? Well, for the record, I'm not in deli, not in bakery, not in seafood, not in meat, not in grocery, not in frozen, not in dairy, and I'm not a cashier. I’m also not a mind reader, encyclopedia, a bell hop, or a customer directory.
Don't wan't to go to another part of the store? Fine, remember that I warned you.
Now, no stupid questions. You see, I've come across a lot of asinine customers lately who have decided to start flapping their gums before they think. When I'm in my aisle loading apples, don't fucking ask me how much salmon fillets are. You wanna know how much fish is, go to the motherfucking SEAFOOD DEPARTMENT. This is always a fun time: "Hi, I'd like to place an order for the holidays, can I get a 20 lb. turkey." Excuse me, don't you see me in the produce aisle loading produce?!? Are you that fucking BLIND?!? I swear I'm going to grab the next "blind" customer and explain to them that I work in produce by jamming their ugly face in the goddamn salad bar. "Do ya feel that? Do ya FEEL that?!? That's Braille for GO TO THE FUCKING MEAT DEPARTMENT, ASSHOLE!"
Going so soon? Good.
"What do you mean by that?" said the Caterpillar, sternly. "Explain
yourself!"
"I ca'n't explain myself, I'm afraid, Sir," said Alice, "because I'm not
myself, you see."
- Lewis Carroll
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
|
